Toxicity in the Cosplay Community: My Thoughts

Hello Readers,

I hope everyone is doing well, whenever anyone reads this! I’m going to go ahead and warn you guys. Trigger Warning: I discuss bullying, feminine experiences (P.M.S) and suicidal thoughts openly in this blog post. I also use some strong language, here and there. So, keep that in mind if you do decide to continue reading. Thanks!

Alright, now that we’ve covered the basic information of the post. For those of you who have already read my post called “Masked Feelings: Love & Loss”; then you may know about my tragic past that is really what helped shape me as a person and is continually helping me become a better version of myself. For those of you who haven’t read it or who don’t want to, right now. Here’s a short version of what my past was: I was severely bullied throughout my school years, until I was homeschooled (and outside of homeschool, that’s where the cosplay community comes in…) and my father was a drug addict absentee with the personality disorder of narcissism, from what I’ve experience and been told. I also was outcast, because growing up in the Bible-belt, Harry Potter was evil and J.K. Rowling was a devil-worshiper. I didn’t mention that, but it’s ridiculous, right? Yea. So, that’s my childhood in a nutshell. Not mention a few painful breakups, in my teenage years. I’m 21 now, lol. Wow, so wise and mature! Right? No, I have a lot of growing up to do but that’s most likely another blog post, in itself…

Alright, now let’s get deep, dark and dirty about my thoughts about the current toxicity that’s happening within the cosplay community. Because it obviously started, in 2014 when cosplay started becoming “mainstream”… *Eyes Rolling* Okay, so for me, I experienced some major toxicity when I first started cosplaying as the manga version of Super Sailor Moon (with a white wig, because I was more drawn to white hair than yellow, for some reason… Now I know that reason, because in the manga Sailor Moon had white hair for a few volumes before switching yellow-blonde. That’s a deep subconscious connection to Sailor Moon, right there…) and because I bought my costumes off of eBay at the time. This throughout the years of 2009 into 2013, I openly admitted I didn’t make my cosplays and I wasn’t ashamed because I’m no master seamstress. But, around that time when cosplay was supposedly not that “mainstream”; I received shame for buying my cosplays! By fellow Sailor Moon cosplayers, *Gasps Melodramatically*, nonetheless. Isn’t that, pretty sad?

Now, I’m not fat-shaming these girls but I think they were slightly jealous because I was pretty skinny back then. I’m slim now, but I’ve got more curves than I did. I used to weigh (possibly) 110 lbs. And now, I weigh… More than that, depending when I’m P.M.Sing. I’m not telling you, my exact weight because that’s my business. But I’m not saying these girls weren’t beautiful, but they were thicker than I was and it’s their personalities that really turned me off. “Did you make yer cosplay?” The Sailor Mars cosplayer asked, in haughty mannerism. “No.” I politely replied, with a casual smile. “Oh, well we made our-ers’.” The Sailor Jupiter cosplayer snapped, in an equally snobbish fashion. “That’s cool! You guys look great.” I simply complimented them with a kind smile. They ended up walking off, after I said that. The old idea of “Killing them with kindness”! But I really wasn’t even thinking of it, that way. I was just so annoyed and I didn’t want the drama, they were trying to bring into my aura’s field.

Alright, things get deeper… I was a part of this anime club, in my hometown of Montevallo, Alabama and I was also bullied there by this redheaded girl who hated me. Possibly because I loved K-Pop? I got nothing but shame, from a lot of the members of this anime club that took place in at the University of Montevallo. Not all of the members, were jerks but there quite a few of them who shamed me and mistreated me… And there were times, where I’d call one of my friends from the club feeling suicidal and in tears. I told him, I was “thinking giving up on anime”; a code for “giving up on everything”. Of course, he talked me out of it and we’re still friends to this day. Like, I said not everyone in the anime club was full of self-righteousness and was what I call an “anime elitist“. Because in this club, liking English dubs of animes, listening K-Pop and writing fanfics were all extremely taboo. At least to admit to anyone, out loud! God forbid, anyone actually admit to doing these things in an anime club meant for acceptance of otakus (anime lovers) of all kinds and different ages! Yes, I was the youngest member. I was the maknae, somber lolzness!

So, what’s the point of all these painful stories, I’m telling you? Well, it’s quite simple. Toxicity in the cosplay and anime communities, in my opinion didn’t start with the weeaboo cultures emerging. That was only one factor, in my personal opinion. I think there’s always been a toxicity within these communities, there were always phony b*tches in the cosplay community and elitists in the anime fan clubs. And I could list the phony b*tches by name, that have f-ed with me but I don’t want to create even more toxicity in the cosplay community. So, for now, you can just guess who decided to f with the wrong Sailor Moon! And for those of you, who have read my “Masked Feelings” blog; I did mention my worst ex from 2014 whom I’ll call “Endo”. I think that’s the nicest nickname, I can give him. But he’s a great example of everything wrong, with the cosplay communities.

But instead of going into deep detail about an ex, because that’s something I’ve already talked about to a certain degree… I’m just going to give you, more of my thoughts of what has caused this toxicity within the cosplay communities. I do sincerely blame this “cosplay/nerd” show “Heroes of Cosplay” that aired in Sci-Fi. Let me repeat the title of that show, “Heroes” of “Cosplay“. For anyone who has seen the show, it was what launched the famous (or infamous, depending on how you feel about her) cosplayer Yaya Han into popularity. But it also had an intensely negative portrayal of cosplayers, within the show. Phony cosplaying b*tches who waited until the last minute to actually finish their cosplays, for the conventions as well as teenage, clique, Mean Girls-style drama that would annoy me to the point of wanting to find the producer of the show and write him or her some hate mail. At the very least! I’m being polite, about how I feel about this crappy show by the by. And being the cosplayer I am, whether my mom made the cosplay or whether I bought it; I was always prepared for the convention. I also handled any drama I had with other cosplayers, by other trying to peacefully resolve the problem (aka NOT gossiping to other cosplayers about them…) and/or removing them from my life, if they became too toxic for my life, where I already had my own share of toxicity and drama I was going through in my own time outside of the cosplaying and anime viewing.

To me, *Clears Throat* Ahem… “Heroes” of “Cosplay” is one of the major things that ruined this cosplay community, I experience, right now. In my opinion. Because it justified the toxicity and phoniness of the people who never actually had a truly deep connection to anime or cosplay; to come into the community and use it for a fame and fortune. Now, there’s wrong with wanting to have fame and money; in my opinion; to me, it’s how you go about it. I personally believe there are lot of greedy-*ss, phony b*tches in the cosplay community who are here for all the wrong reasons. Such as: 1. Getting girls 2. Being a sex symbol for money and 3. Spreading unwarranted hatred about other cosplayers who genuinely love cosplay and anime on social media. Again, I say these things from experience.

 And, I mean, if you doing lewds is your thing, fine. But if that’s all you do and you shame others who don’t do lewd photos or promote their pages the same way – Which by the way, is an EXTREMELY immature way to act- Is quite pointless and only adds to your lack of credibility as a cosplayer, in my opinion. Yes, I’ve experienced this, first-hand. AND DO NOT even get me started on problems within the RPing community! 

To finish off this post, I think the problems within the cosplay community have been here, already and the weeaboo (or waifu) culture as well as the media have only inflamed the situations more. So, no, these problems are NOT new. These problems are deep rooted and I think we need to fix the community, structurally if we want to have any real hope of enjoying cosplay without all the toxic competitiveness and elitist attitudes. We need to find the phony b*tches remove them or challenge them, to be more accepting. This is where I shout out to one of my favorite cosplayers ever, Misa On Wheels! She’s amazing. She spreads amazing messages on her cosplay page and for anyone who believes in cosplay equality (it’s a phrase now) and self-love and expression through the form of cosplay; check out her page. She’s helped me, with her inspirational and motivational quotes and stories; during some intensely dark times in my life. And she’s truly a beautiful person, to me. So, I do think with people such as Misa On Wheels; there is hope for the cosplay community. But we need more people like her! And hopefully, like me who are honest about these problems; if we want to restore some of the cosplay and anime communities’ joyous times. That’s all I have to say!

Thanks For Reading,

Sukai! xoxo